


The Other Pendragon

by bravenclawesome



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Awkward Sex, Bad Jokes, Banter, Blow Jobs, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Nipple Licking, Nipple Play, PWP, Secret Santa Exchange, Smut, Sneezing, bbcmerlinsecretsanta, randy teenagers with really shit senses of humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 04:32:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5483567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bravenclawesome/pseuds/bravenclawesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Morgana acts as Merlin's beard in front of Uther so that Merlin and Arthur can be randy teenagers and get up to hilarious shenanigans. Also, Arthur sneezes at the most inappropriate moment of all time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Other Pendragon

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, colinnmorgan! I’m sorry I wasn’t able to fulfill your request of a fake/pretend relationship between Merlin and Arthur, as [I already wrote one last Christmas](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3248609), but I (sort of?) wrote one between Merlin and Morgana, but she’s only acting as his beard in front of Uther. This is a fun nsfw fic in which Arthur and Merlin are basically randy teenagers and everything is sunshine and rainbows. Hope you like it!

Merlin was the perfect boyfriend in all the conventional ways. He opened doors, pulled out chairs, was polite to the parents, and did generally everything a partner could ever ask for. Uther Pendragon approved of him completely, and Merlin received rare smiles from him every time he visited. At the dinner table Merlin would ask Uther how business was going, which was always a topic Uther prided himself on, and made tasteful jokes that were pitched just perfectly. All in all, Uther Pendragon was perfectly happy to welcome Merlin into the family, but what he didn’t know was that Merlin only visited to see not his daughter, but his son.

It started a few months ago when Merlin was introduced to Morgana via his best friend Gwen at one of Gwaine’s famous parties. Anyone with eyes could see that Morgana was attractive, and Merlin certainly did, but when her brother showed up, she paled in comparison. Arthur was properly fit, and the sexual attraction was almost instant; Merlin knew it wasn’t just the alcohol making his cheeks flush and go slightly off balance when Arthur looked at him. Despite having had copious amounts to drink, Merlin by some miracle managed not to make a fool of himself and throw up on anyone or anything. By the end of the night, he had puffy lips from kissing, multiple hickeys below his collarbone, and Arthur’s phone number written in permanent marker on his hand.

The effect Arthur had on Merlin was obvious to everyone who had been watching, but no one was more delighted than Morgana, who hatched a plan the next day and announced that she would be Merlin’s beard whenever he came to visit. Merlin was a good actor (and his bisexuality definitely helped), so he had no problem pretending to be Morgana’s boyfriend. Arthur was initially skeptical of the plan, but he explained it was only because he feared Merlin wouldn’t be able to impress his father enough to stay. Merlin called him a blockhead by way of response.

Uther was surprisingly easy to fool. Merlin’s first visit was arranged under the guise of him being Morgana’s partner for a history project. Merlin didn’t actually take history, but knew enough to fake it, and besides, he knew Morgana was just messing with him. Once Uther had gotten used to seeing Merlin around, they proceeded to act in a way that implied their relationship was more than platonic. Merlin played with Morgana’s hair, hugged her for slightly longer than was necessary, and kissed her affectionately on the cheek in front of her father, but never did anything too intimate for fear of unleashing Uther’s overprotectiveness. At the dinner table they would engage in friendly banter, Morgana’s playful sarcasm going head to head with Merlin’s quick wit. Uther took this all in his stride and was none the wiser. Whenever they spoke, he would politely inquire after Merlin’s schoolwork and was generally friendly to him whenever he came over. Morgana, just because she could, always gave Merlin a half-wink when Uther couldn’t see before taking him upstairs. It was then that they dropped the act; parting at the top of the staircase, Morgana would turn left, and Merlin right, making his way to the first room on the left: Arthur’s bedroom.

“Sorry I took so long,” Merlin said on one of his visits, walking into the room and flopping half on top of Arthur on his bed. “I got caught up in a conversation with your father about the correct way to take one’s tea.”

“Oh,” Arthur said, amused. “And what did you learn?”

Merlin lifted his face from the mattress and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Always put the milk in first, and never add sugar,” he recited, and in a surprisingly good imitation of Uther’s voice, added pompously, “Everyone knows that.”

Arthur laughed. Merlin stopped for a moment to admire him, the carefree way he threw his head back, the belly-deep _ha ha ha_ he knew was reserved just for him. “Now remind me, _Mer_ lin, now that my father isn’t here, how do you actually take your tea?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Milk, two sugars. I don’t give a fuck about whether the milk or the tea goes in first. According to Morgana there’s some chemistry regarding how the molecules are broken up and shit, but it honestly makes no difference to me.”

“Good to know,” said Arthur, before proceeding to roll on top of Merlin to kiss him.

“That was…the most awkward transition into a snogging session ever,” Merlin complained, very much aware of how Arthur’s weight was pressing on top of him and how he was sinking into the mattress. “We need to work on that.”

“Don’t care,” said Arthur, and Merlin’s breath hitched when he felt Arthur’s lips brush his earlobe. “Come on, take your clothes off.”

“Wow, subtle,” Merlin laughed. “I swear we normally wait a bit longer before getting to _that._ Why are you so bloody horny today?”

“Because it’s you,” Arthur said shortly, his hands moving down Merlin’s torso and untucking his shirt.

“That…is a very good answer,” Merlin gasped, letting out an involuntary shudder as he felt Arthur’s hands caressing his skin.

Just then, they were interrupted by someone knocking on the door. Both of them jumped so violently Arthur would have fallen off the bed had Merlin not grabbed his arm. Merlin had no time to tuck his shirt in before the door opened, but nearly collapsed in relief when he saw who it was.

“Mor _gana_!” Arthur said in an exasperated whisper. “A little warning, please?”

“I knocked,” she said with a perfectly innocent expression, completely unfazed by the obvious tenting in Arthur’s pants and Merlin’s disheveled state. “Uther’s gone out, so you can relax. I’m going to be working downstairs, so be as loud as you like.” And with that, she was gone.

“My sister is way too invested in my sex life,” Arthur said, like this was some sort of revelation.

“Hey, maybe she gets off on it,” Merlin joked, grinning at him.

“Oh God,” said Arthur, clearly horrified at the thought. “I do not want to think about my sister in that way, thank you very much.” He shuffled into a more comfortable position and looked at Merlin again. “Now, where were we?”

It was such a classic line that Merlin couldn’t help but take the piss out of it. “Hmm,” he said, putting a finger to his chin in mock-contemplation, “yes, where _were_ we? I seem to recall a conversation about tea, but I’m not really sure what happened after that.”

“Christ, you stupid sod,” Arthur exclaimed, but he was half-laughing when he grabbed a pillow to hit Merlin with it. Merlin only just blocked it with a hand over his face, and then they were wrestling, giggling like twelve-year-olds as they tussled on the bed. Arthur was clearly the more athletic of the two, and it was laughably easy to pin Merlin down. Merlin countered this by rolling his hips upwards into Arthur’s erection, and then they were kissing again.

“That was a much better transition,” Merlin commented.

“Shut up, Merlin.”

Arthur nibbled at Merlin’s collarbone, making him squirm in pleasure. Merlin swore when the belt of his jeans caught in Arthur’s trousers. “Take it off, for god’s sake.”

“Race you,” said Arthur, raising his eyebrows like it was a challenge, and then both of them were up and out of bed, frantically scrambling out of their clothes. Merlin was the first to get his shirt off, and caught Arthur’s lips in another kiss, preventing him from doing the same.

“That’s – fucking – cheating,” Arthur complained as Merlin nibbled on his lip. Merlin only laughed, then took Arthur’s shirt off for him and tossed it aside. Fully naked, the two of them tumbled into bed in a tangle of limbs, Merlin’s lithe and gangly, Arthur’s muscular and tanned.

Being with Arthur was always like this: playful, absolutely devoid of pressure, sometimes hilariously awkward, but always a lot of fun. They didn’t go all the way every time, as both of them enjoyed blowjobs far too much for it to be healthy, and also because Merlin was so incredibly useless after an orgasm he often couldn’t be bothered to pull out afterwards. This time, Merlin rolled until both of them were facing each other on their sides, and took both their cocks in hand. He got both of them off in slow strokes, his forehead pressed to Arthur’s, feeling the way Arthur’s warm breath gusted on his cheek in heavy pants.

Biting his lip, Merlin sped up, and heard Arthur respond with harsher gasps, deeper sighs. He could feel Arthur shaking against him, too worked up by the pleasure, and Merlin bent to kiss his collarbone, working his way down until his lips grazed a nipple. He grimaced slightly when his own cock slid against Arthur’s thigh – too sensitive – but continued anyway. Knowing Arthur liked being touched there, he closed his mouth around a nipple, used his tongue until it hardened to a pebble.

“Ah – _ah –_ ”

Merlin couldn’t help but smile to himself, while at the same time a flush bloomed all over his body. He loved hearing Arthur moan, a confirmation of the pleasure Merlin was giving him. Arthur always acted like the leader, the one in control, but he had no idea how much it turned Merlin on to have Arthur helpless under his touch in bed.

Merlin’s hand was still working at Arthur’s cock, making sure his thumb occasionally pushed the foreskin over the tip, just like he knew Arthur liked it. Merlin loved all these intricacies about Arthur, loved that he was the only one who knew the little things that made him come apart.

And Arthur did come apart; with a groan, he arched his back, and suddenly he was pulsing in Merlin’s hand, his come coating his fingers. Some of it went on his stomach, and Merlin continued to stroke slowly until Arthur flopped back onto the bed, his hips jerking involuntarily a few times before he collapsed with a final sigh.

With that taken care of, Merlin reached for his own cock and began to jerk off on his own, but was stopped by Arthur’s hand enveloping his. “No – let me – ”

Arthur sat up on the bed, pulling Merlin forward and arranging him so that his legs were on either side of Arthur’s hips, his cock just level with Arthur’s face. In one quick motion, Arthur swallowed him down, and Merlin gasped at the warm, wet, intense pleasure that immediately flooded his senses. Having been teetering on the edge of orgasm for the past few minutes, it didn’t take long for Merlin to come as well. He barely had time to warn Arthur before he was spilling into his mouth, but Arthur took it anyway, continuing to suckle until Merlin was done, then pulling off and swallowing it down with only the slightest moue of distaste.

Arthur slid down from his sitting position, and Merlin arranged them until Arthur’s head was comfortably resting on Merlin’s chest. He put an arm around him, and in response, Arthur hummed and threw his arm across Merlin’s waist, hugging him tightly.

Arthur’s eyes were closed, his eyelids occasionally fluttering, and he looked so perfect in that moment that Merlin couldn’t help but say it in a rush of affection.

“I love you.”

Arthur cracked an eye open.

“I know.”

Merlin swatted at him with the arm that wasn’t on Arthur’s shoulder. “Don’t go all _Star Wars_ on me, you clotpole. You’re supposed to say it back.”

Instead of replying, Arthur moved up until their faces were level, leaned in and kissed him. In contrast to the frenzied snogging earlier, Arthur’s kisses were slower, lazier, and purely for the enjoyment of touch. His tongue gently skimmed across Merlin’s lip, and Merlin pushed closer to him, curling his fingers at Arthur’s nape, pushing his hand into Arthur’s hair. Mirroring him, Arthur reached up as well…and pinched the lobe of Merlin’s ear.

Merlin yelped and swatted Arthur with the hand that had been on his neck. “Goddammit, Arthur!”

Arthur looked as if he was about to laugh, but then, unexpectedly, he sneezed. Loudly. And very, very messily.

“EURGH!”

Merlin wasn’t a germaphobe, but even he didn’t like getting snot all over him, and he sprung off the bed. “You didn’t tell me you had a cold!”

“I don’t!” Arthur protested. “It’s just…dusty in here!”

“Great way to ruin the moment, Arthur,” Merlin complained, meaning to sound annoyed, but the words came out fond instead. He reached for the tissue box on Arthur’s dresser and thrust it in his direction. “Oh my god, just…clean yourself up.”

Arthur pulled a tissue out of the box and blew his nose. Merlin wasn’t sure what Arthur was saying, as it was muffled into the tissue, but he could have sworn the words were, “Love you too.”


End file.
